--"Chris," a listener of Harold Camping's Family Radio. Camping has predicted with absolute certainty that the Rapture will occur tomorrow and there's a billboard on I-35 in Dallas to prove it. Chris hasn't had a fixed address for five years, so messiah would be a significant upgrade, but when the actual messiah returns tomorrow, he might get pissed.
Apparently, the big shindig is supposed to start at 6:00 PM local time. By that, I mean that a massive earthquake will start on whatever Pacific Island lies nearest the date line, then work it's way around the world as 6:00 PM comes to each time zone. That's pretty thoughtful of a wrathful God to give us a heads-up like that. I live in the Central time zone, so I'll watch CNN and if New York starts shaking at 6:00 PM EST, I'll know I've got a good 59 minutes of sin left before crunch time.
